I Joined A Miss Gay Pageant And Won Hands Down

To set things straight, I guess I’m a perfectly straight guy, the typical boobs and butt kind of man, “oozing with mucus and sex appeal” (by the way I really love this line borrowed from my high school professor).

I didn’t join a random Miss Gay competition. This pageant was organized by the officers of my then company for a team building activity. I declined at first but after knowing that my buddies were also contestants, I got no choice but to join in on the fun. As they say, doing crazy things with crazy friends makes the experience a whole lot better. Haha!

It was time to man up, or should I say, gay up! I needed a game plan. This event will only happen once in a lifetime. And since I have no other choice but to do it, I better do it with flair.

Off I go borrowing costumes, accessories, make-up, footwear, fake boobs and other various gimmicks to spice up the affair.

I needed to be in the right mindset. I tried to simulate the things that will probably happen on that night. My buddies would surely do funny stuffs or exaggerated gay movements. My game plan was to act as demure as possible, walk as slowly as possible, move as graceful as possible. Lady-like if put to words. LAUGHS.

At last, the night has come and the program has started. The crowd was going wild in anticipation. We enter the function hall dressed in sportswear and introduced ourselves. Walking slowly taking my time like a beauty queen, I was dressed in complete military camouflage with fake boobs since I was planning on becoming an Airsoft Enthusiast but my crew forgot to bring plastic guns for my props. I had no choice but to improvise. Using the element of surprise, I used my hands as guns as I moved forward and when I reached the end of the ramp, I suddenly pulled out my pick-up sticks and played it in front of everyone! Oh, you can’t imagine the roar of the crowd! They were laughing hysterically. But wait, there’s more! I pulled out my Jackstone set and also played Takyan, like sepak takraw, in front of everybody. When the noise died down, I introduced myself as Miss Yataki Tumbi from Korea! Imagine the sound of a big round of applause. HAHAHAHA!

Next, came the talent portion. We had a mini stage play. I almost forgot that this was a couple’s pageant. A girl acts as a boy to be our partner. My partner, Sarina, won the talent portion because of her effective acting. I was dressed like a bitchy and fashionista restaurant manager. The audience got the gist of our roleplay’s story.

Last but not the least was the evening wear slash national costume. This was the deciding moment.

I WAS DRESSED AS A GEISHA!

Complete with a korean kimono and traditional pink umbrella. Paparazzi was swirling all over the place with my partner dressed as a Mafia boss! Haha! The pageant ended with a question and answer portion which I was able to answer with wit and vindiction. Guess you already know the ending to this story. With the help of my backstage crew, me and my partner won as a team, hands down.

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. estelea says:

    Too bad you dont have pic of you as a geisha 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I actually have but I’m still looking for it. My hard drive was corrupted. I’m actually asking for copies from my previous workmates. But I’m also contemplating whether to post it online or not. Hahahahaha

    Like

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